So yesterday was announced that Amal Clooney’s husband was producing a new version of Ocean’s Eleven with Sandra Bullock on Danny Ocean’s part. You might not know this, but I am utterly OBSESSED with this movie, and in fact, all heist movies of the genre. Recently I’ve read Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo which I loved, and re-read over and over again Ally Carter’s Heist Society series, which is a-ma-zing. Basically, I’ve watched too many movies about heists and even dabbled at my own thing (which hopefully I’ll get back to in the future, and you can check the pinterest board here.) So when they announced this new Ocean’s Eleven remake with an all-women cast, I WENT CRAZY. And obviously had to make my own cast for this movie, because yeah. I love it.
First of all, we have Sandra Bullock, already cast on the part of Danny Ocean (George Clooney). I’m already a 100000% on board with this, and absolutely excited to see Bullock leading a gang of ladies in a heist. LET’S GET THIS MOVIE DONE ALREADY.
Angelina Jolie as Rusty (Brad Pitt) would be my second choise. I’m not sure how she’d be pulling off Rusty’s ultimate nonchalance about everything, but just look at this woman. She’d be amazing.
Goldie Hawn would be my choice to play Reuben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould), the investor. Goldie has both the charm and the extravagance that Reuben has, and I’d love seeing her back in the theatres for a movie like this. She’d have fun while doing it, and we’d all have fun watching.
Frank Catton (Bernie Mac) is the inside man on the job, and I’d pick none other than the wonderful Laverne Cox for this. She’s iconic, beautiful, funny and truly enchanting, just like Frank.
In the end I couldn’t choose between these two ladies on who’d get to play the part of Basher (Don Cheadle). Lupita Nyong’o is a big name and she’d bring a charm to the part — meanwhile Samira Wiley would completely bring the rest of Basher’s character, complete with colorful swearing and crazy shenanigans.
I’d love to see Alyson Hannigan bring her charm to the part — I have no doubt she’d play super-nerd and nervous wreck Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison) quite well. She’d rock at it, too.
Natalia Tena and Emma Stone would be the names to bring to play the dynamic duo/gateway-driver that are Virgil and Turk Malloy (Casey Affleck and Scott Caan). They’re both incredibly funny and I’d love to see them both as sisters. Also, could you imagine what great bickering would come out of THIS interaction?
Time to bring up the big name. Meryl Streep might be too young to play the part of Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner), but she has got everything on her acting skills to make the part shine just as Reiner did in the originals. She’d take no bullshit from the young ‘uns and be prepared for absolutely everything. MERYL STREEP WOULD KILL IN THIS.
Fan BingBing as The Amazing Yen (Shaobo Qin), who’d look lovely while doign all the work with malabarisms and everything else. Maybe she might lose a bit of the fun, but then again, maybe she would just add to it.
I couldn’t choose who the newcomer would be on the gang — Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) is a pickpocket trying to make a name for himself, despite being royalty on the underground. He’s the new recruiter of the group, and I thought I’d bring fresh names (even though by them, Damon was already well known, but hadn’t filmed the Bourne trilogy yet) — I’d love to see either Gemma Arterton or Kate Mara on the role. They both could bring the sweet naive look that Linus had, and still kill it at the part.
These are the names of the Ocean’s Eleven. But as a huge fan, I can’t stop dreaming about the sequels, so I just decided to fancast the rest as well ;P
Monica Belucci as Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia). I’d be swooning over the Big Bad in this one. And look at her! She looks like she could own three cassinos, walk in heels, and get rid of you and your whole family at the same time.
Both Rodrigo Santoro and Mark Ruffalo could bring to life the part of Tess (Julia Roberts), of Sandra Bullock’s ex-husband who’s an art expert and all sweet at the same time.
François Tolour (Vincent Cassel) is the main villain on the second movie, and who better to play a stuck-up and master thief french aristocrat than Léa Seydoux? That’s right. NO ONE.
Hugh Jackman would be inverting roles and playing
Javert Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta-Jones), an interpol cop obsessed with catching the most famous thief in the world, and stumbling upon the heist that’s happening right under her nose, commanded by none other than her ex-lover.
Aaaand introducing the final Big Bad, that one *sshole in the third movie, I’d choose Penelope Cruz to play Willie Banks (Al Pacino). Basically because Cruz could pull off anything she wanted, and it’d be cool to see her bringing her charismatic side to the role.
And that’s it! Those were all my fancasting choices, and even if one of them gets picked, I’ll die from happiness. Meanwhile, all the production of this movie is a dream come true. You guys have no idea how long I’ve waited for an all-women female heist movie.
And Hollywood, if you’re looking for a screenwriter, please consider me!!! I’LL DO IT FOR FREE.